Sometimes the Census Taker is Wrong & Andrew Martin Darling

Sometimes the Census Taker is Wrong

By Don Taylor

Photo of Don Taylor with cat Nasi.I’ve been having many roadblocks in my Abner Darling (1780-1839) research. Enough so that I decided to take a step back and look at Abner Darling’s descendants much more closely. The first of these that I am examining is Andrew M Darling, the oldest brother of Rufus Holton Darling (1816-1857). Rufus left New York for Kalamazoo, Michigan about 1844. Andrew left New York in the 1840s also and settled in Utica, Wisconsin. Then about 1859 Andrew moved west again, this time to Alexandria, Minnesota. Andrew died in 1864. I looked and looked and looked and couldn’t find Andrew in the 1860 census.  Finally, I searched for everyone named Andrew in Douglas County, Minnesota. There I found an Andrew Martin, whose apparent wife was Antoinette, and three children, Sarah, Olive, and Abram who matched the ages of Andrew Darling’s Wife Antoinette, and three children, Sarah, Olive, and Abner. I have little doubt that I found the family. Now my suspicion is that Martin was Andrew’s middle name, the “M.” I’ve known about for quite some time. The census taker just got the name wrong, a simple mistake. The Darlings were new in the area and the census taker probably didn’t know them yet.

Howell-Darling 2017 Research

List of Grandparents

Grandfather: Robert Harry Darling (1907-1969)
1st Great-grandfather: Rufus Harry Darling (1857-1917)
2nd Great-grandfather: Rufus Holton Darling (1816-1857)
2nd Great-grand Uncle: Andrew M. [Martin?] Darling (1805-1864)

 

Andrew Martin Darling (1805-1864)

Andrew M. Darling was born in 1805 or 1806 in New York, probably on the Beekman Patent in Dutchess County to Abner and Sally Ann (Munsell) Darling.

SOS Online BackupAndrew grew up with 7 siblings. They were

  • Diadema Darling
  • Sally Ann Darling
  • Abner Darling
  • Rufus Holton Darling(1816-1857)
  • Henry W Darling
  • Hannah Darling
  • Franklin C Darling

Abner moved his family west, first to Paris, Oneida County, New York (before 1820) and again to Clarkson, Monroe County, New York.

Sometime before 1835 Andrew moved west, apparently by himself, to Medina, Ohio. There he married Esther Antoinette Doolittle on October 8th, 1835 in a ceremony performed by Joel Goodell, a Minister of the Gospel. Andrew and Antoinette appear to have had four children.

Children of Andrew M. Darling and Esther Antoinette Doolittle

Child Name Born Married Death
Sarah Antoinette Darling c. 1844 1863 – James Dicken 1901
Alice Darling c. 1846 Before 1860
Abner M Darling 1851 Ella [LNU]* Unknown
Olive Blanche Darling 1854 c. 1869 – George McQuillen 1902

I have not found Andrew in the 1840 Census. All four of the children above were born in Wisconsin, so it is clear that Andrew and Antoinette located to Utica, Winnebago County, Wisconsin before 1844.

The 1850 Census shows a three generation household. With Andrew is his wife, Antonette and their daughters, Sarah and Alice.  This census record provides the only mention of Alice that I have found. Also living with Andrew is his mother, Sally A [Munsell] Darling, and his two youngest siblings, 25-year-old Hannah and 22-year-old Franklin.

The 1855 Wisconsin Census shows the family still in Utica, WI with a household consisting of 3 males. (Most likely Andrew, his son Abner, and his brother Franklin.) The household also has four females. (Most likely Esther Antoinette, Sarah, and Olive. Additionally, either Alice was still alive in 1855 and Hannah moved on, or Alice had died by 1855 and Hannah was still there. Further research is needed to discern what occurred.

Map showing Darling Homestead
Part of Douglan County, MN – Click map to see larger image

The family moved west again, this time, in 1859, to Douglas County, Minnesota. The 1860 Census shows the family with the surname “Martin.” Clearly a mistake.  Living with Andrew is his wife, 44-year-old Antoinette; his 16-year-old daughter, Sarah; his twelve-year-old daughter, Olive; and his eight-year-old son, Abner (listed as Abram).

It appears that Andrew died in September 1864 in Phelps County, Missouri. However, his family continued to prosper in Douglas County. He was said to have been an “exceptionally successful farmer.[i]” His wife Antoinette received a patent in 1873 for 149.1 acres of land they settled on the south shore of Lake Darling (near Alexandria, Minnesota)[ii]. Lake Darling was named for Andrew Darling[iii].

Further Actions / Follow-up

  • Determine if the three males in the 1855 Wisconsin Census includes Andrew’s brother Franklin or if there is an unknown child of Andrew.
  • Determine if the four females in the 1855 Wisconsin Census includes Alice or if the 4th female is Hannah. Was Alice was still alive in 1855 and Hannah moved on, or Alice had died by 1855 and Hannah was still there.

Sources

  • 1850 Census (FS), 1850 Census – A M Darling – Utica, Winnebago, Wisconsin. “United States Census, 1850,” database with images, Family Search – 12 April 2016), Am Darling, Utica, Winnebago, Wisconsin, United States; citing family 1092, NARA microfilm publication M432 (Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.). https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:M4DT-3L6.
  • 1855 WI Census, Family Search, 1855 – A. M. Darling – Utica, Winnebago, Wisconsin. “Wisconsin State Census, 1855,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:MMM5-5DV 14 November 2014), A. M. Darling, Utica, Winnebago, Wisconsin; citing line 12, State Historical Society, Madison; FHL microfilm 1,032,689.
  • 1860 Census, Family Search, 1860 – Andrew M Martin [Darling] – Alexandria, Douglas, Minnesota. “United States Census, 1860”, database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:M4LG-PBH – 26 July 2017), Andrew M Martin, 1860.
  • Martin, William Albert, and Lou Ella Johnson Martin, Dennis Darling: of Braintree and Mendon and some of his descendants 1662-1800 – Page 461.
  • Ohio, County Marriages, 1789-2013 , Family Search, Andrews Darling & Antoinett Doolittle – Marriage. “Ohio, County Marriages, 1789-2013,” database with images, FamilySearch  27 September 2017, Andrews M. Darling and Antoineth Doolittle, 08 Oct 1835; citing Medina, Ohio, United States, reference 132; county courthouses, Ohio; FHL microfilm 423,817. https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XZ5X-M24.
  • Ohio, County Marriages, 1789-2013 , Family Search, Andrews Darling & Antoinette Doolittle – Intended Marriage. “Ohio, County Marriages, 1789-2013,” database with images, FamilySearch ( : 27 September 2017), Andrews W. Darling and Antoinett Doolittle, 25 Sep 1835; citing Medina, Ohio, United States, reference 83; county courthouses, Ohio; FHL microfilm 423,817. https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XZ5X-GTR.
  • Wisconsin, Compiled Census and Census Substitutes Index, 1820-1890, Ancestry, WI 1855 State Census Index – A. M. Darling – No Image Winnebago County, Utica Township, 1855

 Endnotes & Additional Sources

[i] Upham, Warren (1920). Minnesota Geographic Names: Their Origin and Historic Significance. Minnesota Historical Society. p. 180.

[ii] Bureau of Land Management, U.S. Department of the Interior, Accession MN0950.303 – Darling, Antoinette 11/15/1873. https://glorecords.blm.gov/details/patent/default.aspx?accession=MN0950__.303&docClass=STA&sid=swuujfdu.p5v.

[iii] Upham, Warren (1920). Minnesota Geographic Names: Their Origin and Historic Significance. Minnesota Historical Society. p. 180.

Darling – Surname Saturday

Darling
Surname Saturday
By Don Taylor

Photo of Don Taylor with cat Nasi.According to Forebears, dyrling was an “Old English term used to denote the young noble of a house, perhaps exclusively the eldest son, on whom all expectations rested.” Later it became a family name[i].  Ancestry reports that the name is English and Scottish and derives from deorling meaning “beloved one” or as a derivative form of deor (dear)[ii]. In either case, it became a surname before 1500.

Geographic

The Darling surname is most common in the United States and England with nearly half of all people with the Darling surname living in the United States. In terms of frequency, it is most common in Canada with 1 in 13,078 people in Canada having the surname.[iii]

The 1920 census indicates that the greatest number of families with the Darling surname were New York, Michigan, and Massachusetts. During the 1880 Census, the greatest number of Darling families were in New York and Massachusetts. Finally, the 1840 Census indicated most of the Darling families lived in New York[iv].

Ancestor Migration

That pattern follows my wife’s ancestors nicely. Her Darling ancestors came to the Colonies in the mid-1600s and settled in Mendon, Massachusetts. They relocated to Eastern New York (Dutchess County) about 1740. They continued west and settled in Oneida County, in western New York about 1800. They lived in Monroe County, NY, in far western New York, for a short time as well. They moved further west again to settle in Kalamazoo, Michigan about 1845.

Other Darling family members located in Missouri and some continued out west to California. Whenever I hear about the migrations west, I think about my wife’s Darling family being clear representatives of the time.

It is not clear when Mary-Alice’s earliest known Darling ancestor came to the Colonies.

But, her 7th great-grandfather, Dennis Darling married Hannah Francis in Braintree, MA in 1662.[v] By 1678 they had moved 40 miles west to Mendon, MA.[vi] His son Benjamin was born and died in Mendon, but his son, Ebenezer, migrated to the Beekman Patent land in New York before 1740. His son, Abner, moved west to Oneida County about 1800. Abner’s son, also named Abner, moved further west to Monroe county, NY about 1830. His son, Rufus Holton, moved on to Kalamazoo, Michigan, about 1844. Rufus’ son, also named Rufus, was born and died in Kalamazoo.

Rufus Harry was a railroad man. Besides Kalamazoo, he lived in Chicago, Kansas City, and Pittsburgh; his son Robert was born when Rufus was in the Pittsburgh area. Robert died in Michigan.

Map of Ancestral Darling Migrations
Ancestral Darling migration. 1660-1900 from the east to the west.

Direct Darling Ancestors

# 006 – G Robert Harry Darling (1905-1969)
# 012 – GG Rufus Harry Darling (1857-1917)
# 024 – 2nd GG Rufus Holton Darling (1815-1857)
# 048 – 3rd GG Abner Darling (Jr.) (1780-1839)
# 096 – 4th GG Abner Darling (Sr.) (1747-1800)
# 192 – 5th GG Ebenezer Darling (1718-1790)
# 384 – 6th GG Benjamin Darling (1687-1772)
# 768 – 7th GG Dennis Darling (1640-1717)

Known relatives.

My records have 233 direct-line descendants of Dennis Darling identified in my family tree, which is about 8% of my total Howell/Darling ancestors.


ENDNOTES

[i] Internet: Forebears website – Darling Surname. See: http://forebears.io/surnames/darling

[ii] Internet: Ancestry website – Darling Family History. See: https://www.ancestry.com/name-origin?surname=Darling

[iii] See note i above.

[iv] See note ii above.

[v] Clemens, William M., Darling Family in America, The (1913), Archive.Org, Page 5 & 6 – Dennis Darling of Braintree, Mass.

[vi] Doherty, Frank J., Darling Family, The – Settlers of the Beekman Patent, The, Files, 0 – Introduction – Dennis Darling (c. 1640-1717).

DNA Testing and Shared Research on my Darling Line.

I just can’t express how important I find genetic genealogy. I often hear others talk about learning more about ancestors and finding other living relatives who might have information on your family that you don’t know. But, there is more to it than just that. Recent communications with a distant cousin of my mother-in-law reminded me of the importance of connecting with these distant DNA Cousins.

Claudine Boerner and my mother-in-law are a distant match, 4th to 6th cousins on Ancestry DNA. That means that they are likely to share a common 3rd, 4th, or 5th great grandparent. I often don’t expect much on matches that distant. In my mother-in-law’s case of the 32 possible surnames, she would have among her 3rd great-grandparents, we only know 15 of them. So, the odds of finding a common ancestor between 5th or 6th can be even more daunting. In my case, having only 15 of 64 (4th great) or 15 of 128 (5th great) possible surnames the odds of finding a common ancestor seems very remote. 
However, in the case of Claudine, she and my mother-in-law share one common surname that we know of, Darling. We don’t know if that is the genetic connection or not, but we do know that we are both researching the Darlings in upstate New York during the 1700s and early 1800s. As she was doing her research, she came across an individual, Rufus H. Darling, whose name she remembered was in my Darling tree. She sent me a note that she had seen some information that included Rufus in the “Beekman Patent.” She mentioned some material was in a book, Dennis Darling: of Braintree and Mendon and some of his descendants 1662-1800 by William Albert Martin and Lou Ella Johnson Martin. I was able to locate a copy and found the entry where Rufus is mentioned along with his parents, whom I had determined previously (unbeknownst to Claudine). It also had the names of several of Rufus’ siblings, whose names I didn’t have previously. It included the names of Rufus’ father (Abner), siblings and his father’s name. Another Abner, and his father’s name, Ebenezer. The book has a reasonable amount of footnoting (sources) so I am able to use those to validate what I find.

1776 map showing the Beekman Patent
A 1776 map showing the Beekman Patent [i]
I was also able to find a website regarding “The Settlers of the Beekman Patent” Dutchess County, New York. It includes “An Historical & Genealogical Study of all 18th Century Inhabitants of the Patent.” I then contacted the author, Frank J. Doherty, of the material and asked if “The Darling Family – 12 pages” included information regarding Rufus H Darling and his father, Abner Darling (1780-1839). He replied that it did and I ordered a copy of it. I quickly received a copy of it electronically. It too is excellent. It is a 12-page document regarding the Darlings of the Beekman Patent plus another 12 pages indicating the sources of the information. It also indicates that Ebenezer’s name was Benjamin and his father’s name was Dennis. I was a little disappointed that some of the material in the Dennis Darling: of Braintree is verbatim from the Beekman Patent pages, but still, the information provided is well worth the modest fee Mr. Doherty charges.

With the information in the book and Doherty’s Darling Family pages and the sources provided I have hundreds of hours of work to review, analyze, document, and verify the information, but the information, the source suggestions are invaluable.

With me possibly pushing back another two to four generations on my Darling line and Claudine’s continued research, it is possible we will find our shared common ancestor. Then again, maybe that ancestor is one of the other 128 fifth great-grandparents. Either way, one significant benefit of connecting with distant cousins are the important clues they can provide to your research.

ENDNOTES:

[i]  Source: Our Hoxie Heritage. 

———- DISCLAIMER ———-

Tracing 19th Century Women & Sally Ann (?) Darling.

Tracing early 19th Century Women 

Tracing women in early 19th century history can often be a difficult process. Women often didn’t exist except in the context of their wifely status. Such is the case of Sally Ann (unknown) Darling.  She is only mentioned in a couple documents that I have found, so far. I first encountered her name when I found the obituary of her son, Rufus Holton Darling, which mentioned that he is the son of Abner and Sally Darling. I also traced her husband, Abner Darling. That search yielded his will, which made Sally Ann the executrix.  It mentions nothing other than her name. It doesn’t even mention the names of their children.  In court, men attested to the validity of the will and it doesn’t appear that she ever addressed the court. The 1840 Census shows that Rufus H Darling is living at the same location (based on neighbors) that Abner Darling lived at before. Living with him was an older woman that I presume is Rufus’s mother – Abner’s wife – Sally Ann. Sadly, that is about the extent of what I have learned about Sally Ann.

Bio – Sally Ann (Unknown) Darling (c. 1780-aft 1840?)

1780 – Birth – The 1840 Census infers that she was 50-59 years old suggesting a birth year of 1780-1790. The 1830 Census infers that she was 40-49 years old also.
1820 – Appears to be living with husband, Abner Darling, and 7 children in Paris, New York.[i]
1830 – Appears to be living with husband, Abner Darling, and 8 children in Clarkson, New York.[ii]
1839 – Sally’s husband Abner dies. She is made executrix of the will and inherits everything. She is living in Clarkson, New York.[iii]
1840 – Apparently living with son, Rufus H Darling, and four other children in Clarkson, New York. [iv] 
I have been unable to find Sally in the 1850 Census.

List of Greats

12. Rufus Harry Darling (1857-1917) 
24. Rufus Holton Darling (1816-1857)
49. Sally Ann [Darling] 

Further Action

·      I am further researching for Rufus Holton Darling’s siblings.  Hopefully, results of that search will provide additional information or clues regarding Sally Ann.
·      Third cousins on the Darling DNA profile would share Abner and Sally Ann as common ancestors to my mother-in-law.  Following clues there may help open this new brick wall.

ENDNOTES & SOURCES

[i] 1820 Census; New York, Oneida, Paris, Page 267 – Abner Darling; Ancestry.com
[ii] 1830 Census; New York, Monroe, Clarkson, Page 271 – Abner Darling; Ancestry.com.
[iii] New York Wills and Probate Records, 1659-1999; Monroe – Wills, Vol 002, 1835-1841, Pages 329-331 (362-364 of 513); Abner Darling. Ancestry.com. Also, see the transcript.
[iv] 1840 Census; New York, Monroe, Clarkson, Page 177 – Rufus H Darling.; Ancestry.com.

———- DISCLAIMER ———-

The Search for Abner Darling (1780-1839)

The Search for Rufus H Darling’s father:
Abner Darling

Finding individuals before the 1850 Census is always problematic. I find the process to be an iterative process, that is to say, it is necessary to go through the same records several times until you find the right connections. Here is my process for finding Abner and Sally Darling. As is always the case, start with what you know (or think you know).

Known:

According to the Kalamazoo Gazette, Rufus Holton Darling was the son of Abner & Sally Darling. He had come to Kalamazoo from Rome, Oneida Co., NY in 1840.[i] This article is about searching for Rufus in Oneida County and the search for his parents, Abner and Sally Darling.

1840 Census

A search of the 1840 Census revealed 9 people with the surname Darling in Oneida County, New York. No one named Rufus or Abner (that would be too easy) is listed. The only Darling listed as being in Rome is  
1840 – Israel Darling – Rome, Oneida, New York
M Under 5     1
M 30-39         1
F Under 5      1
F 5-9               1
F 20-29          1
1 person employed in navigation of canals, lakes, rivers.[ii]
From this, I deduce that Israel Darling was born between 1800 and 1810 and probably worked on the nearby Erie Canal. Clearly no other Darling men were living in his household. From this Census record, I think it is fairly safe to conclude that Israel Darling was living with his wife and three children in 1840 in Rome.
Rufus doesn’t appear in the Census for Rome, Oneida county, New York in the 1840 Census. So, there are three likely answers.
1.     Rufus moved before the census date of 1 June 1840.
2.     Rufus was somewhere else in Oneida County, near to Rome.
3.     The newspaper article was wrong.

1830 Census

A search of the 1830 Census yields seven Darling’s listed. Again, no Abner. I wouldn’t expect the then 14-year-old Rufus to be enumerated, but rather be in another household.

1820 Census

The only other chance is to find the family in Oneida County the 1820 Census. A search on Ancestry.Com yielded 8 entries for Darlings in Oneida County, New York. None were in Rome; however, there were two entries for Abner Darlings. 

Abner Darling Entry #1 

1820 – Abner Darling – Vernon, Oneida, New York[iii]
M 10-15         1
M 16-18         2
M 16-26         5
M 26-44         3
M 45 & over  1
F 16-25            1
F 26-44            1
F 45 & Older   1
Persons engaged in Manufacturing: 8
Vernon is a small town about 12 miles south of Rome, NY. However, this census entry shows a complex household with six adults and seven children (under 25) primarily working in manufacturing.  In 1820, Rufus would have been five years old and is not enumerated in this listing.  So, we need to look at the other Abner Darling’s entries. The good news is this entry
infers there was an Abner Darling who was born before 1875 living in Oneida Co., so I should make a “do not confuse with” entry in my worksheets.

Abner Darling Entry #2

1820 – Abner Darling – Paris, Oneida, New York[iv]
M Under 10   3
M 10-15         1
M 26-44         1
F Under 10    1
F 10-15          2
F 26-44          1
Persons engaged in Agriculture: 1
This likely shows a simple farm family with two adults and seven children under 16.
The good news is that Rufus could be one of these three males under 10. The bad news is that it is not Rome.  Paris is a small town about 17 miles southeast of Rome. However, Paris is only about ten miles south of Utica, so I would expect that people from Paris would associate themselves with Utica and not Rome. Abner Darling of Paris doesn’t show in the 1830 census gives rise to my speculation that Abner Darling of Paris either died or moved sometime between 1820 and 1830. I think I’ll use that as a hypothesis and continue on.
Returning to the 1830 Census, sadly none of the entries for Darlings in Oneida County are in Paris. So, it appears that Abner either died without his heirs continuing on the property or that Abner moved.
The Abner of Paris in the 1820 Census closest census (three on each side) neighbors were: Henry F West, James Eastman, David Pixby (?), John Ramsdale, Solomon Stockwell, and Joseph Ballou. I decided to see if they show in the 1930 Census.

Back to the 1830 Census 
Henry F West Appears to have moved to Richland, Oswego County by 1830. 
James Eastman – No John, but there an Amasa Eastman in Kirkland and two Benjamin Eastmans in Paris.
David Pixby (Bixby?) – None 
John Ramsdale – No John, but there is a Henry Ramsdale in Kirkland. 
Solomon Stockwell – shows in the 1830 Census living in Kirkland. No there are Darlings enumerated on the same page (11). 
Joseph Ballow – Also shows in the 1830 Census living in Kirkland and also on Page 11.

The good news is that Kirkland was established as a town in 1827 from the town of Paris. People in Kirkland in 1830 would have been in Paris in 1820 without having moved. Because of this, I have little doubt that I found the neighbors of 1820 Abner of Paris and looking at those neighbors, neither Abner nor any other Darlings are in Kirkland in 1830.
At this point, I’m still pretty good with the hypothesis that Rufus Holton Darling’s father, Abner Darling, was the Abner Darling of Paris (Later Kirkland). If that is the case, I have the following family information
Abner Darling Born 1776-1794 – Married before 1807. (Engaged in Agriculture.
Sally [Darling] Born 1776-1794 – Married before 1807 – Died after 1820.
1.    Unknown Male Darling – B. 1804-1810
2.    Unknown Female Darling – B. 1804-1810
3.    Unknown Female Darling – B. 1804-1810
4.    Unknown Male Darling – B. 1809-1920
5.    Rufus Holton Darling – B. 1815-1816
6.    Unknown Male Darling – B. 1809-1820
7.    Unknown Female Darling – B. 1809-1920
For a marriage date, I am assuming that the 1820 Abner Darling of Paris census entry was a standard family unit, that is to say, husband, wife, and 7 children. I presume that they were married before the oldest child was conceived. They have three children over 10 in August 1820 so the oldest of the three children must have been born by 1808 and conceived by 1807 (presuming no multiple births).

The Will of Abner Darling

At this point, I was kind of stuck. Then I looked at the wills and probate records on Ancestry.Com. It is a fantastic resource. I quickly found the Will of Abner Darling who died in 1839 who gave everything to his wife Sally. Could this be the same Abner and Sally Darling who were the parents of Rufus Holton Darling?

Back to the 1840 Census

I thought I’d take a look at the 1840 Census. Sally would, most likely, still be in Clarkson only a year later. A search yielded a huge find. Rufus H Darling was the head of a household in Clarkson.

Rufus H Darling Entry

1840 Census – Rufus H Darling – Clarkson, Monroe, New York[v]
Census Entry
#
Name
Birth
Comments
M 10-14
1
Unk. Male
1825-1830
Minor child in will.
M 20-29
2
Rufus H
Unk. Male
1815-1816
1809-1820
Fits 1820 Census.
Fits 1820 Census.
F 15-19
2
Unk. Female
Unk. Female
1820-1825
1820-1825
Minor Child in will.
         “
F 50-59
1
Sally Ann
1780-1790
Fits 1820 Census.
I have little doubt that this Rufus H Darling entry is the correct Rufus H Darling and that his father, Abner Darling of Clarkson, died in 1839 and that, in 1840, Sally Ann Darling was living with her son Rufus H in Clarkson, Monroe Co., New York.

Back to the 1830 Census

Then I went back to the 1830 Census and found an Abner Durling living in Clarkson, Monroe County, New York.
1830 Census – Abner Darling – Clarkson, Monroe, New York[vi]
Census Entry
#
Name
Birth
Comments
M Under 5
1
Unk. Male
1825-1830
Youngest boy in 1840 Census
M 5-9
1
Unk. Male
1820-1825
Missing in 1840 Census
M 10-14
1
Unk. Male
1816-1820
M 15-19
2
Rufus
Unk. Male
1810-1815
1810-1815
One of them is probably Rufus.
Other Unk Male in 1840 Census.
M 40-49
1
Abner
1780-1790
Fits Abner
F 5-9
2
Female
Female
1820-1825
1820-1825
Fits 1840 Census
Fits 1840 Census
F 15-19
1
Female
1810-1815
Fits female < 10 in 1820 Census
F 40-49
1
Sally Ann
1780-1790
Fits both 1820 & 1840 Censuses
Everything appears to fit my expectations for the Abner Darling family as I would expect it to be in 1830.
The will of Abner Darling provided the break that allowed me to think outside of the Rome, Oneida County box. I now believe that Rufus Holton Darling was born near Rome, New York. When he was a child from 5 to 15 years old, the family moved to Clarkson, New York (about 20 miles west of Rochester).  In 1839, his father passed and the 25-year-old Rufus became the head of the household. In late 1840, Rufus located to Kalamazoo, Michigan.
Solving family history by using the pre-1850 censuses can be difficult and complex. There are seldom easy answers, but through perseverance, a viable conclusion can be reached. Now to sort out Abner in the 1810 Census.  There are five Darling families in Oneida County during the 1810 Census.  One of them is “A. Darling.” The eldest in that enumerated family is over 45 years old. Too old to be our Abner. But there is a 16 to 25-year-old male in that enumeration who could be our Abner.  Another fine investigation to undertake….

Abner Darling (1780-1839) 

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks – Week 3

Marker of Abner Darling
Source: Find-a-Grave
Born 1780 – The 1830 Census indicates he is between 40 and 49 years of age, suggesting a birth between 1780 and 1790. His marker on Find-a-Grave appears to indicate his birth in 1780.
1820 – Paris, Oneida, New York, USA, Appears to be living with wife and 7 children working in Agriculture.[vii]
1830 – Clarkson, Monroe, New York, Appears to be living with wife and 9 children.[viii]
c.1838 – Monroe County, New York, sued Nathan Mott & Ansel Frost.[ix]
1839 – January 8th, Monroe County, New York, signed last will and testament giving all to his wife Sally Ann.[x]
1839 – January 11th, Abner died. He was buried in Hamlin, Monroe County, New York at the Lakeside Cemetery. [xi]
1839 – May 1, Abner’s will was probated. His wife, Sally Ann was the Executrix.

Further research

Determine the siblings of Rufus H Darling.
Find Abner Darling in the 1790, 1800, and 1810 Censuses.
Determine Sally Ann Darlings maiden name.
Determine what happened to Sally Ann Darling.

Souces:

[i] ”KPL 3X5″ Vital Record Files, Kalamazoo Public Library;, Kalamazoogenealogy.org.
[ii] 1840; Census Place: Rome, Oneida, New York; Roll: 313; Page: 65; Image: 705; Family History Library Film: 0017199
[iii] 1820 U S Census; Census Place: Vernon, Oneida, New York; Page: 257; NARA Roll: M33_73; Image: 260
[iv] Ibid.
[v] “1840 Census,” Clarkson, Monroe, New York,  Roll: 297; Page: 177; Image: 359, Rufus H Darling, Ancestry.com, 12 Jan 2016.
[vi] “1830 Census,” Clarkson, Monroe, New York, Series: M19; Roll: 94; Page: 271, Abner Durling (Darling), Ancestry, 12 Jan 2016.
[vii] “1820 Census,” Paris, Oneida, New York-, Page: 267; NARA Roll: M33_73; Image: 270, Abner Darling, Ancestry.Com, 12 Jan 2016.
[viii] See Endnote VI Above. 
[ix] “New York Wills and Probate Records, 1659-1999,” Monroe County, New York, Abner Darling, Wills, Vol 2, 1835-1841, See Pages 329-331, Ancestry.Com.
[x] Ibid.
[xi] Find-a-Grave, Abner Darling, “Memorial #131155053,” http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=131155053, 9 Jan 2016.
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